Post by Kasey Kash on Sept 29, 2022 1:41:04 GMT
With the flash of the XIX logo across the screen, we’re taken backstage somewhere in the War Memorial Auditorium. Wherever it is, it’s dark and Marcus Uriah Dunne is hot in the head as he paces back and forth like a madman. Behind him, the XIX World Championship hangs over a short piece of chain link fence. Might be part of a steel cage or just a scrap piece that hasn’t been thrown out yet. We don’t know! That’s not what matters, though. What matters is the XIX World Champion is pacing back and forth, muttering under his breath. Not incoherently. Even worse, he seems to be conversing…with himself. What’s what line they say about you’re only crazy if you answer yourself?
MUD: “They said I gotta do an interview. Well, of course you gotta do an interview. But I don’t wanna do an interview! You’re the champion, you gotta do an interview! Oh yeah, says who? It’s common custom. I never did interviews in boxing! You were never a champion in boxing.
Fuck you, I coulda been! Hey I’m just stating facts man. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
As Marcus argues with…himself, he continues pacing back and forth, talking with his hands as his eyes dart around aimlessly, not once even looking at the camera.
MUD: “Motherfucker, I will choke the messenger’s fucking lights out! You wanna go to jail again? Pfft, no! The food sucks there! Then don’t choke the messenger. But now I wanna choke someone! Well you can’t choke the messenger! Who can I fucking choke?! I don’t know! Can I choke my opponent tonight? Well, you might get disqualified. Pfft, stupid DQ rules. And you might piss Zara off. If I choke my opponent? Yeah, dumbass, you forget who’s challenging for your belt tonight?”
Marcus stops in his tracks and makes an incredulous face while throwing his hands in the air and back down.
MUD: “What do I look like, a fuckin’ idiot? I’m wrestling Jessi Ozborne. The little girl with the ice cream hair that calls herself Papi. Everyone calls her Papi. Not everyone, because some people are fuckheads. Okay, that’s true. But yeah, I know Jessi, she’s Kasey’s pal. Uh-huh, she’s also Zara’s friend. You know…Queens of Chaos?”
Marcus stops as if he’s just now realized and his hand goes up to his forehead.
MUD: “Ahhhh shit! I gotta choke Zara’s friend? You’re not gonna choke Zara’s friend! But I gotta beat her ass! You have to win your match, you don’t have to completely murder her. But she wants my belt. She’s coming for my belt. I thought you didn’t care about belts?”
At that point, Marcus turns and picks the XIX World Championship up off of the fence, holding it in his hands.
MUD: “I dunno, I kinda like this belt. Think I wanna hold onto it. To do that, I need to choke Jessi Ozborne. Motherfucker, listen! WHAT?! You. Are not. Going. To choke. Jessi Ozborne! Calm down, it ain’t personal! I’ll shake her hand after! That’s her thing right? Shake hand? Buy merch?”
Marcus puts his hand up and moves it in an invisible handshake.
MUD: “That reminds me, I need to buy some of those Papi Eats First shirts. I promised I’d do that. Did they come out yet? I can ask her when I got my hands around her neck. Alright, listen here you! For the last time: You. Are not. Going. To choke– SEEYA IN THE RING JESSI!!!!”
Marcus slings the XIX World Championship over his shoulder and heads off camera. The cameraman turns, watching as Marcus heads through the room he’s in and pushes through a swinging door, disappearing out into the arena’s main hallway.
MUD: “They said I gotta do an interview. Well, of course you gotta do an interview. But I don’t wanna do an interview! You’re the champion, you gotta do an interview! Oh yeah, says who? It’s common custom. I never did interviews in boxing! You were never a champion in boxing.
Fuck you, I coulda been! Hey I’m just stating facts man. Don’t shoot the messenger.”
As Marcus argues with…himself, he continues pacing back and forth, talking with his hands as his eyes dart around aimlessly, not once even looking at the camera.
MUD: “Motherfucker, I will choke the messenger’s fucking lights out! You wanna go to jail again? Pfft, no! The food sucks there! Then don’t choke the messenger. But now I wanna choke someone! Well you can’t choke the messenger! Who can I fucking choke?! I don’t know! Can I choke my opponent tonight? Well, you might get disqualified. Pfft, stupid DQ rules. And you might piss Zara off. If I choke my opponent? Yeah, dumbass, you forget who’s challenging for your belt tonight?”
Marcus stops in his tracks and makes an incredulous face while throwing his hands in the air and back down.
MUD: “What do I look like, a fuckin’ idiot? I’m wrestling Jessi Ozborne. The little girl with the ice cream hair that calls herself Papi. Everyone calls her Papi. Not everyone, because some people are fuckheads. Okay, that’s true. But yeah, I know Jessi, she’s Kasey’s pal. Uh-huh, she’s also Zara’s friend. You know…Queens of Chaos?”
Marcus stops as if he’s just now realized and his hand goes up to his forehead.
MUD: “Ahhhh shit! I gotta choke Zara’s friend? You’re not gonna choke Zara’s friend! But I gotta beat her ass! You have to win your match, you don’t have to completely murder her. But she wants my belt. She’s coming for my belt. I thought you didn’t care about belts?”
At that point, Marcus turns and picks the XIX World Championship up off of the fence, holding it in his hands.
MUD: “I dunno, I kinda like this belt. Think I wanna hold onto it. To do that, I need to choke Jessi Ozborne. Motherfucker, listen! WHAT?! You. Are not. Going. To choke. Jessi Ozborne! Calm down, it ain’t personal! I’ll shake her hand after! That’s her thing right? Shake hand? Buy merch?”
Marcus puts his hand up and moves it in an invisible handshake.
MUD: “That reminds me, I need to buy some of those Papi Eats First shirts. I promised I’d do that. Did they come out yet? I can ask her when I got my hands around her neck. Alright, listen here you! For the last time: You. Are not. Going. To choke– SEEYA IN THE RING JESSI!!!!”
Marcus slings the XIX World Championship over his shoulder and heads off camera. The cameraman turns, watching as Marcus heads through the room he’s in and pushes through a swinging door, disappearing out into the arena’s main hallway.